Outwardly Out

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Outwardly Out

Outwardly out
But inside
Grey semi solid sloshing jelly
Test match special
How can you not smile
And jig your feet?

I stand inside
In the kitchen inside
In the middle
Of the kitchen
Just stand and not think
Unable to move
Or to think

Don’t want

talk
It’s exhausting

Mouth

won’t

move

I could go to church
But can’t face the people
To put on a face
To be normal or nice
Or try to explain
What’s wrong
When it’s me

When it’s me
And a scream
And a claw
And nails dug in
To scream to a stop
To say stop
Just everything stop

I will be this selfish
Just leave me alone
I don’t care what you’re doing
Or how much
Just leave me alone…
Let me…
Leave me alone

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This entry was published on August 9, 2014 at 9:29 pm. It’s filed under Promote yourself, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

2 thoughts on “Outwardly Out

  1. Stunned. That was really lovely, tragically – magically.

  2. Thank you. I thought long and hard about putting that one out, but it is part of my life and others. I am glad I can use the bad periods for creation as well as the good.

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