It’s been a most peculiar time.
I am trying to draw out conclusions and lessons from the last four months.
I am convincing myself that even if I made a mistake – by not leaving with the redundancy – I am learning a great deal.
I am convincing myself that even if they made a mistake by placing me on processing – rather than dealing with people – I am learning about background issues and becoming a more fully rounded employee.
I am convincing myself that even if it drives me to distraction – I can end up in tears of frustration – I am learning soo much about systems, processes, benefits and computers, that I can help people far more than previously.
I find that I can manage the phones,schedules, emails, post, endless Miss Marple investigations more effectively, I can do more for more people. I still say what I think – sometimes good – sometimes, well you fill in the rest!
It still makes me mad that my strengths aren’t being used, that I have leave which I have no time to take, that things need to be done which I no longer have the time to do, that my colleagues are also in the same position (and for some much worse) and I am soo tired –
But I am no longer on medication…
For the last six months I have not needed it…
I am stressed…(so I bake and the office has to eat all sorts of experimental cakes)
(rhubarb cupcakes with glace rhubarb pieces)
but I am no longer depressed…just mad.